Saturday 5 May 2012

There is SOMETHING about Xhosa men...by Malaika wa Azania

by Malaika Wa Azania on Saturday, April 2, 2011 at 8:34pm ·
I am a pan-Afrikanist through and through,and my feelings about Afrikan people in their entirety remain consistent.As pan-Afrikanists,we don't encourage divisions among the Afrikan family.To us,all Afrikans,be they Nigerian or Azanian,are the same.However,we cannot deny that divisions DO exist,both socio-economic class and ethnical divisions.Because of geo-politics,certain ethnic groups will have certain characteristics that differ from other tribal groups.Societal norms and traditions differ,hence Xhosa people,for example,believe in "ulwalukho" while Zulu people don't.

I have interacted with and observed the different tribes in our country,and while there is more that unites us than there is what divides us,there are certain traits that are dominant in some cultures than others.What i've concluded is that Venda,Tsonga and Pedi women are generally more conservative than Xhosa women,who are rather outgoing and free-spirited.Regions also play a significant role.Soweto people are generally very vibrant and love living la vida loca,while people in Parys (Free State) tend to prefer a more slow life.
It is these observations and personal interpretations that inform this note.

Men are men,whether they are Pedi or Swati.There are men that cheat,and men that don't.There are men that lie,and men that don't.There are men that are caring and those that don't...irrespective of their ethnic group.HOWEVER,after having analysed Xhosa men for a while,i'm convinced that there is something about them,something that sets them apart from the rest...and it's fascinating!

OVER-CONFIDENT
Xhosa men tend to be confident...perhaps TOO confident.They ooze confidence from every pore,which sometimes tends to border on the arrogant.

INTELLIGENT
Most intelligent men that i know are Xhosa.Seriously.

CONSCIOUS
...and by intelligent,i don't mean that they are Isaac Newtons or Albert Einstein.No.(The scientists are generally the Venda darlings).
Xhosa men are politically conscious.Even if they aren't Marxists or Afrikanists,they tend to have an extraordinary grasp on political constructs.And in politics (mature politics,not COSAS type of politics) they are rarely populists.Just look at Mbeki...

RESPECT WOMEN
No one said Xhosa men don't cheat.Hell,they are just as bad as Soweto men! But Xhosa men tend to be discreet about their shenanigans.They conceal their cheating to protect the women that they love (Zulu men will just come out and tell you that they want a polygamous relationship...with a straight face!).But men being men,they obviously get busted!

CHARMING
It has to do with the dress-code.Xhosa men are generally neat dressers: shirts instead of t-shirts,formal shoes (aka "di kick-n-mboboze") instead of Carvelas (aka "nami nghlal'eSoweto) etc...

THE NAMES
Oh my gosh,their names! They sound like rain dripping on smooth sea-rocks on a spring day.
Lukhanyiso,Anele,Mziyanda,Luthando,Xola,Mzwandile,Aviwe,Bathandwa...and the surnames! Vangqa,Majali,Mathikinca,Komsana,Matshiqi,Cawe...hmmm! I would much rather be Mrs Mathikinca than Mrs Moloi...i think it has to do with the way Mathikinca just rolls like a love candy in my mouth...

PASSIONATE
Xhosa men are passionate in whatever they do.If it's sports,they exert passion (think Makhaya Ntini).If it's music,they ooze passion (think Ntando).If it's politics,they are focused! And when they want to be romantic...geewaz! They just make your heart melt.

PRIORITIES
Xhosa men like stability.They prioritise their families (children,wives...and even mistresses) over and above everything else.They love extravagant lifestyles but truth be told,who doesn't?

NON-VIOLENT
Ofcourse there are violent Xhosa men who just beat up women unashamedly.But generally,Xhosa men are gentle creatures full of lovingkindness and respect for the fairer sex.They don't like confrontations,but would rather just walk away...or turn into Ice Kings,shutting out everything...including YOU!

I know some will agree and some wont,but these are my personal views.I find that Xhosa men are really fascinating.Their subtle (or not so subtle) arrogance makes them alluring.They have mannerisms that are very unique and rather strange.

As a Sotho-speaking girl,with family in Parys and Heilbron (Free State province) as well as Lesotho,you would think that i would like Sotho men.Hell,i have never even dated one...! (Heavens forbid i get married to one! Yhuuu!)

Most influential men are Xhosa: Robert Sobukwe,Chris Hani,Steve Biko,Oliver Tambo...

And did i also mention that Xhosa men are HOT! ?...

5 comments:

  1. This is rather an intersting observation and quite an amusing article.

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  2. Yhooo please tell me where to get those because the ones that I know are nothing like what you’ve just mentioned in your observation and I happen to date one and about to leave him. And just to say man are man never mind the race or culture it depends on personality and the way a person was raised that defines all you’ve just mentioned and nothing to do about being Xhosa.

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  3. My man is almost everything u just mentioned.....my ex also (a good man)____n they both happen to be Xhosa
    *not agreeing or dis_I guess we just hav the same view [aren't we lucky?]*

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  4. For the first time in my life, I dated a Xhosa man. It was exciting in the beginning, until I realized that he lied to me about a lot of things. He told me he's never been married before. He stays with his 2 sons and a helper. He broke up with the baby mama three years before we met. He has a house and land in Cape Town. He had expensive cars. Six months down the line, I found out that he was lying about all of these. He used to sleep at my house almost everyday. Until I approached him about his lies. He finally admitted that he was a married man, staying with his wife and kids. I still wonder what their arrangement was as he still continued to see me for another year. He was so dodgy. He became a leach, an opportunist and a parasite. Yet married. After I dumped him, I realized that most of my Xhosa friends were almost the same when it comes to being beggy. In my culture and other cultures that I've been close to, a man must have pride. They need to be providers. I'm a giving person, but he would ask me for money, clothes, gadgets,food, drinks, anything he could set his eyes on. He wouldn't contribute anything in the relationship. He thought by being sexual with me, that's being a man. I took it that he was selling his body to benefit and provide for his family. The wife even drove my car several times, with no shame. I'm still shocked. He wouldn't let go of me even when I tried to push him away. The relationship became too toxic and stressful. Are Xhosa men like that? My female Xhosa friends had warned me against dating Xhosa man because of the kind heart they know me to have. I'm still traumatized.

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